Postcard of a Painting

Well I think I'm fixed again. Was out last night and was determined to have a good time. I did. Talked to lots of people and had one of the best nights out in the a long time. Still feel a bit weird but screw it, life is for living.

Don't Drink and Post

Oh well its done now. New rule, no posting when drunk, like I'll stick to that!

The World is too small I'm going somewhere else

Hi everybody, you catch me depress and lonely. Its rag week here in college and everything was good. Out with my friends havng a laugh. It was all good until about 10 o clock when I saw her. I was outside having a smoke, none of my friends smokes so I was on my own. On my way back into the bar I saw started talking to a friend from my course. Then I saw one of her friends so I went into, "Oh Shit" mode. When I walked back into the pub I saw another one of her friends who I get along with and we had a chat, She actually steered me away from any confrontation.

Needless I spend the rest of the night looking over my shoulder, when I shouldn't because when I looked around a few hours later I saw her with someone.

I dunno how to explain this feeling right now, when we broke up I crashed and burned in the most tragic way. I lost weight, friends and basically everything I held dear, this while I looked after my family, thats also hard to explain, I took care or my family for a long time, I put my life on hold.

I dunno I guess I'm pissed off because she was with someone with me there, I've had girlfriends, one offs the usual crap and I don't expect her to be different, but I've always made sure she wasn't there or couldn't see me, she asked me so and well everything she was ever asked off me I've tried to do so I've always been a bit anal about that one.

Christ I wish this didn't effect me.

Goodnight internet, I'm getting pissed.